Surreal. I’ve been using that word a lot the past week or two. This particular moment in my life is surreal on so many levels. Today is the day that I receive my master’s hood for my Master of Divinity. Four years ago to the day, I was the last one in the office on a Friday evening, sitting at my desk and praying. I never expected that the response I would hear that evening would be a call to vocational ministry. In God’s sense of humor, in a few days I will be returning to that very office as I step back into a role on the Taylor Enterprise Applications Management team at Taylor University while I continue to explore ministry and writing opportunities.
That day four years ago feels like a lifetime ago, and over the past four years I have not just studied, but have been renewed body, mind, and spirit. I’ve had the blessing of having no commitments this week, allowing me space to reflect and process. Even so, I have struggled to find words for the multitude of thoughts and emotions that I am experiencing this week as I am presented with such a clear side-by-side of who I am now and who I was four years ago, of the magnitude of God’s faithfulness. I feel profound gratitude for all those who have journeyed beside me these past four year. I am struck silent with awe at the grace, healing, and freedom God has poured into my life during this past season.
This week has been my “selah,” my worshipful pause. Monday brings a new beginning, and my selah will turn into a different form of praise. But for today and for this weekend, I relish in my pause and I cherish every minute. For this moment, I allow my heart to have no words, and to offer my profound silence.